I'm Soooo Behind

It's well into October now, and all the screw-ups, mis-steps, and failures of the last 9 months are rearing up to bite me in the you-know-where.

Any progress I made earlier in the year - and some of it was considerable - has backslid so far that I'm nearly back at square one.  I haven't planned diddly and the upcoming holidays are looking a little bleak.  A major, crucial project that should have begun in August is still in limbo today.  Financial decisions are almost always regrets around here.  My house is a wreck - no better now than it has been at any point in the last 4 years.  I'm not looking forward to fundraisers, cold-weather clothes, pictures, cards, presents, baking, etc. in the next 3 months.

I'm frustrated with so many things, not the least of which myself.  I have issues.

I'm cranky today

I won't go into why, just thought I should mention it in case anything in this post sound snippy.

I'll own up; I haven't started the deep clean.  I can't really call it PCCX anymore I think, because now the whole group, year-long thing seems to be that.  In fact, we discussed at some length what the X might now stand for instead of extreme.  Excellence, exchange, execution (as in doing something, not killing someone), exercise, expectations, expedition, experience, experiment, exploits, exploration, exposition, extension...any thoughts, votes, alternative suggestions?  Let's remember that the PCC stands for purple chat and challenge...not my first pick for a group name, but that's what we've got so let's go with it.

That wasn't exactly the point of the post, so moving on...

I haven't started on the back pages (annual deep cleaning), because I haven't yet done even a decent, much less good job on the front page (dailies), and I've ignored the middle pages (weeklies) too.  Figuring a mere 1 hour each on the top 3 priorities, 1 load each of dishes and laundry, a whopping 15 minutes of exercise, and around 130 for 3 special challenges, the total is a little over 3,000.  I should have far more than an hour in each of those priorities, and there's usually more than one load of dishes, laundry, or both.  Five days a week there are weekly tasks.  Accordingly, I've set my goal at 3,500 for weekends and 4,000 for weekdays.  Reasonable.  So far I've made between 2,300 and 2,800 each day.  Why?

My back has been giving me fits for weeks and most days I can barely move without pain, but that's just a lousy excuse.  For one thing, I've still spent hours sitting here at the computer, so why don't I have more writing and desk work hours logged?  Everyone else around here is able-bodied, so why isn't there more delegating going on (half points for those)?  The facts of the matter are that a) I'm inherently lazy, and b) I don't know where all the time goes.  Those are excuses too, and I'm really sick and tired of excuses.  It doesn't seem to make me get up and do...um...stuff, it just makes me irritable.  I'll leave it at that.

The next time I check in I expect to have some progress to show for the time.

Excuses, Excuses~!!!

For me it is one excuse after the other so that I do not have to clean this house. I don't know if it is because I don't get to leave the house very much or if its just laziness. But nonetheless, I hate to move off the couch most days. It seems like the morning is horrible for me in the energy area. But yet in the evening when I "Feel" like cleaning, I can't because the kids are home and we are doing homework, dinner, baths...etc. to keep me from working. I also feel guilty when I do not clean because I AM here all day and I shouldn't have an excuse for not cleaning. Yet, when my wonderful, hard working husband comes home to this nasty house, I have to make up a reason why I didn't move off my lazy tail all day long. It seems like the more I try the worse I get.

My house is not in shambles by any means...but I DO need to clean daily and I can't seem to ever get there. I may do the same stuff almost daily, but not everything I need to do. I know it is possible because I used to do it 2 yrs ago. I got up and drilled with you all and my house stayed clean, and that was with kids home. So not doing it now with no kids home, makes no sense to me. It is like I have gotten selfish of my alone time. I am not a selfish person normally. But yet it seems I cannot get past this. Does anyone else experience this?

If it wasn't for you ladies and our drilling, I would never do anything...EVER!

For some reason when we make lists, play "games" or something of the kind...I am able to actually move. I guess it just motivates me somehow.

I am hoping to get into a better routine. I plan on making a list at night...I have never understood the points keeping and POA and PODA thing. But I am thinking it might help me get motivated and help me move at least some daily.

I am asking if anyone would be willing to invest time in showing me how to use it and help me understand it? If so, let me know. If not, then I will figure another way out. Thanks!!

This blogging thing could become addicting...:)